Firehose #138: Sneks Across America

Also: Happy 9th birthday to us!

Oh, I know what you’re saying. You’re saying, “Matt, aren’t these Firehose thingies supposed to come out on weekends?” Indeed they are, but also: Since last we hosed, I have driven 2,000 miles across this great goddamn country, visited (boyfriend?) George Washington’s winter New Jersey HQ, stepped very near (though respectfully not quite on) this country’s most monumental & mysterious snek, ogled a Basilica, clambered up Cahokia, got my first-ever senior discount (!) at the Bob Dylan Center, saw the old feller live, met the Ween of American rock critics, visited a super-cool recreated newsroom set for a forthcoming Ethan Hawke TV production, got stalked by a hawk, watched a real-ass eagle, gave a we’re-fucked talk about the national debt, taped two Fifth Column episodes and a live Reason Roundtable, witnessed mediocre comedy, lost my voice, and most importantly, met 50 or so of you magnificent bastards across St. Louis and Austin.

Long story short, it’s a day late; sue me. Also: May the future portend many more such weeks!

* Ol’ Whatshiface had a couple more episodes. The first was with Inner Compass Initiative founder Laura Delano, about depression:

The second was with old pal and known ginger Peter Meijer (veteran of Special Dispatch #51, #307, #339, #367, #424, and Members Only #184), as well as independent journalo Ken Klippenstein. They talked Signal chat, classification, and U.S. grand strategy:

* Oh hey, I see that Moynihan did the podcast of one of my favorite crazy journalist characters in the country, the Motor City’s own Charlie LeDuff! They talked about the new show, the GOP’s working class heroism, and the downfall of Vice:

* Our friends at the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE), who sponsor The Moynihan Report, have teamed up with our friends at Substack on a joint statement/plan in response to the Trump administration’s deportation & financial-leveraging crackdown on university-related speech. Excerpt:

Since our founding, America has long welcomed writers and thinkers from across the globe who come to this country and contribute to the richness of our political and cultural life. Christopher Hitchens was one of President Bill Clinton’s sharpest critics, Alexander Cockburn punched in all directions, and Ayn Rand minced no words in her condemnation of socialism.

To preserve America’s tradition as a home for fearless writing, the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression and Substack are partnering to support writers residing lawfully in this country targeted by the government for the content of their writing — those who, as Hitchens once put it, “committed no crime except that of thought in writing.” If you fit this category, whether or not you publish on Substack, we urge you to get in touch immediately at thefire.org/alarm or pages.substack.com/defender.

* I have since the election been betting the other two lunks that Greenland will happen; here’s Yascha Mounk (#124, #195) this week fleshing that out:

[O]ver the last days and weeks, the Trump administration has signaled in every way possible that it really does mean to expand American control over the Arctic island. And while a forcible American annexation of Greenland would have disastrous consequences—both for America and for the world—the prospect of such an action is now far less remote than has widely been assumed. It is time to take seriously the possibility of an American annexation of Greenland.

* In advance of Thursday’s Liberation (from low prices) Day, here’s a Just Asking Questions discussion about tariffs with economic historian Phil Magness:

* Oh right, I just remembered that Tuesday is … (checks notes) … the NINTH birthday of this here podcast. What. In. The. Hell. When did you start listening? How did you get here? Favorite episode? Guest? Top untested city for a live show? There are no wrong answers, though as usual only paying customers can reply in the Comments…. To commemorate this solemn occasion, here’s the one and only Arch Stanton:

* Email of the Week comes from (no really) Moron DumbDumb:

Hey Fifth,

I'm looking for the full footage of John Fetterman v Nick Gillespie WWE Smackdown . where can i find it?

heres a question:

is it immoral that I made this? is this mean? is this fake news, manipulative, and wrong??

heres the thing, I'm high as hell right now so idk

and i am only sending this to you i won't make this public. this was on chat gpt, i made these in 45 seconds. what do you think about this being allowed?

also you know these are coming in the substack chat.... what are the rules here?

Rules, schmules. Full episodes of Real Time tend not to be available; here’s the Overtime segment, here’s the famous clash.

Walkoff music combines several recent themes….