My God, There’s a Fifth Column Merch Store

It’s a Hanukkah miracle!

Granted, it’s been (*consults Atzec calendar*) 3,542 days, but as paying subscribers already know, we have finally answered your Hail (Bloody?) Marys and other spiritual beseechery by opening a … still can’t believe I’m typing these words … merch store.

There you can find the very last of our initial supply of OG shirts and hats, which we have been schlepping from live show to Paloma Media closet to live show to now this online store. IYKYK:

But wait! There’s also a new, limited run of (newly design-tweaked) logo T-shirts that be looking like this. (Don’t worry – unlike a certain co-host, they really *are* black):

Here is the deal: Producer Jason swears that if you order any of these by the end of THIS SUNDAY, they will arrive at your location before Christmas, “and maybe even the last day of Hanukkah.” I’M NOT SAYING I’M JUST SAYING.

OK, here’s the link, go!