Workin’ for the Weekend #77: A.I. Doesn’t Believe Kmele, Either

Also: Moynihan on Megyn, Vivek on Hezi, and Fifdom meetup Sunday in Tel Aviv

First things first: Beloved Fif’ listener and interactive artist extraordinaire Dave Cicirelli sends an email with the eye-catching subject line: “A.I. thinks Kmele would lose a fight with Joe Rogan, is a girl.”

The pic above is the only of the four Dave shared where Kmele didn’t look like a younger, shorter, fighting-shape Michelle Obama. The artiste explains: “I was listening to the second episode in a row where Kmele is continuing his delusion thinking he could beat Joe Rogan in a fight. I took a five-minute detour to bring in Chat GPT and Midjourney.” Dave couldn’t ask about a straight-up street fight (Kmele’s preferred fantasy scenario), so queried instead about the two podcast titans squaring off in a sanctioned UFC match. Results:

1. Background and Training: Joe Rogan is known for his martial arts background. He has a black belt in Taekwondo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. His experience in striking and grappling could give him a significant advantage in a UFC-style match. Kmele Foster, on the other hand, is not publicly known for any martial arts training or experience, which would likely be a major disadvantage.

2. Physical Conditioning: Rogan is known for his focus on fitness and physical conditioning, which is crucial in a sport as physically demanding as mixed martial arts (MMA). Without knowledge of Foster's physical condition or training regimen, it's difficult to compare, but conditioning is a key factor in any fight.

3. Age and Physical Attributes: Age, reach, weight, and overall physical health play important roles in a fight. Both participants' attributes would influence their performance, with younger and physically larger or more fit competitors typically having an advantage.

4. Mental Preparation and Strategy: Mental toughness and fight strategy are crucial in MMA. Rogan's immersion in the MMA world, both as a commentator and practitioner, suggests a deep understanding of fight strategies. It's unclear how Foster would prepare mentally or strategically without known experience in this area.

5. Experience Under Pressure: Rogan's experience in high-pressure situations, both in martial arts competitions and as a public figure, might give him an edge in handling the stress and adrenaline of a fight.

In summary, based on publicly available information, Joe Rogan would likely have a significant advantage in a hypothetical UFC match against Kmele Foster due to his martial arts background, physical conditioning, and familiarity with the sport. However, it's important to remember that MMA fights can be unpredictable, and this analysis is entirely speculative.

Kmele out there clinging to that last sentence like a life raft….

* Not sure how Moynihan scraped himself off the floor Wednesday morning after that mess Tuesday night, but there he was giving post-New Hampshire analysis to his special friend Megyn Kelly:

* I also showed up for work on Wednesday, let the record show. “Independents Hate the Trump-Biden Rematch,” went the Reason piece. “Donald Trump's winning numbers nonetheless contain hints of future losing; meanwhile, RFK Jr. is polling near 20 percent.”

* Past guest and recipient of uncharitable Episode #440 words from me Vivek Ramaswamy (#411) went this week on Flagrant, the video-pod thingie of our insanely successful friend Andrew Schulz (#30, #32):

* Speaking of Schulz, I see he’s got a speaking role in the biggest cinematic event of 2024:

* People did serious stuff this week, too, you know! For instance, Andrew Sullivan (#139 & #200) has a sober Trump-second-term-assessment piece out, titled “The Tyrant Who Is Also a Joker.” At The Free Press, Eli Lake (#52, #65, #141, #174, Special Dispatch #51, #326, #368, #407, Members Only #184) wrote about how “American Troops Know: Iran Is Already at War with Us.” And Nancy Rommelmann (#79, S.D. #27, S.D. #30, #198, #203, S.D. #34, S.D. #50, S.D. #64, S.D. #111) filed a few dispatches from Israel, including “Inside the Hope Machine: Conversations with a coalition of Israelis who aren’t willing to wait for the government to get their loved ones back after October 7,” and “The Road to the West Bank: Lunch in Hebron, checkpoint troubles with the IDF, and the normal kindness of strangers.”

* Speaking of Rommel, she and beloved Israeli-New Yorker slay kween Yael Bar tur just sent me the photo below, along with the following come-hither instructions to any Fifdomites in their neck of the woods this Sunday:

Normally, we don't talk to strangers in bars (... as if), but we will make an exception! This Sunday, come join Yael Bar Tur and Nancy Rommelmann at 9pm at Ouzeria, Matalon St. 44, Tel Aviv. Will there be additional American podcasters in attendance? Some friends of Fifdom? A random dude we met on El Al? (Kidding! We heart you Sam.) You bet! We could all use a drink or three — see you there xx

* Re: ongoing media layoff carnage, four links: 1) Taylor Lorenz living down to stereotype; 2) me in the Wall Street Journal 12 years ago making Austro-Hungarian empire analogies to the newspaper industry 3) Ethan Strauss (#185, #333, #383, M.O. #151, #408) in righteous contrarian mode urging his fellow journalos not to indulge in professional self-pity, and 4) The Hollywood Reporter touching on some of the insane family-struggle woke-B.S. backstory behind this most recent iteration of flawed/hated SoCal ownership. I may get my cassingling muscles limber for some L.A. Times histories….

* Greg Lukianoff (#216, M.O. #183, #427) received a skeptical review in the New York Review of Books by former ACLU National Legal Director David Cole (“Who’s Canceling Whom? Conservatives often charge their opponents with ‘cancel culture,’ but the right poses as significant a threat to free speech as the left”), to which the FIREman penned a data-rich rebuttal titled, “Yes, the Last 10 Years Really Have Been Worse for Free Speech.” One lil’ chunk near Lukianoff’s conclusion:

[A]s long as schools maintain DEI requirements in their admissions and hiring essays, maintain “bias related incident” teams, flirt with or straight up employ restrictive speech codes on campus, have literally no viewpoint diversity in many departments, and remain places where so many students and faculty are afraid of saying what they really think and being investigated for their speech, we are nowhere near the finish line. 

* Back to the frivol: Pursuant to both the last regular and paid episodes, here’s the Saturday Night Live Jimmy Smits clip about pretentious newscaster accents:

* As long as we’re laughing, your periodic reminder to have a nice day.

* And L Brown reminds us that not only is Michael Winslow very much alive, he’s got a back catalogue of insane voice work that includes this bit of WTFery:

* More events: Jan. 29 is a SoHo Forum debate in NYC with Tony Mills and Terence Kealey chewing on whether, “Government must play a role in fostering scientific and technological progress by funding basic research.” And D.C. Feb. 2-4 is LibertyCon, featuring emcee Robby Soave (#332), panel-work from Katherine Mangu-Ward (#75, #395), and Nick Gillespie (S.D. #72 & #379) conversatin’ with Justin Amash (#184 & #389).

* Comment of the Week comes from Mike Staber:

Without Reagan’s immigration policy/amnesty, it's likely I wouldn't have met my wife. She was born in a small village in the central valley of Oaxaca, Mexico, in 1988. Six months later, she began having health problems that couldn't be helped in the village due to lack of medical care; her parents immigrated to Vista, CA, a 2,000 mile journey from Oaxaca. Side note: My wife didn't become a citizen until she was 26, and she was 6 months old when she arrived in the U.S. In short, becoming a U.S. citizen is really fucking difficult.

It's fascinating how much of our lives are impacted by chance. My grandpa's outlook is [that] our journey through life comes down to being in the right [place] at the right time, and luck. It's a vague statement, but it rings true to him for a few reasons. My grandpa is 99 years old, nearly 100, and is a WW2 vet. He served in the Machine Records Units during the Normandy invasion. Luckily he was smart enough and had the math skills necessary to operate the IBM punch-card machines, which kept him off the front lines. He was also part of and witness to the liberation of [the] Ohrdruf concentration camp, the first concentration camp liberated by the U.S. Army, on April 4, 1945. My grandpa was 20 years old at the time. He told me the story of Ohrdruf a few years ago, and the last thing he said was "20-year-[olds] should never witness such things." I'll never forget the look in his eyes as he finished the story. The look of sadness, disgust, and pain from a scar so deep said more than his words ever could.

Walkoff music from the late singer-songwriter who was probably more interesting than you remember: