Firehose #185: Eight Days a War

Also: Second Sunday at noon ET

First things first. Paying subscribers can join us on a be-there-or-FOMO Zoom call tomorrow at noon ET. I’m sure Producer Jason will share the deets in this bat-channel.

We are now on Day 8 of the Iran War. Donald Trump is calling for “UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER,” reportedly considering ground troops, and warning that “Today Iran will be hit very hard! Under serious consideration for complete destruction and certain death, because of Iran’s bad behavior, are areas and groups of people that were not considered for targeting up until this moment in time. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

The United States has torpedoed a warship to death for the first time since World War II. Trump is reportedly weighing whether to arm rebels. An analysis by The New York Times, and preliminary investigation from the Pentagon, indicate that American bombs were responsible for the deadly carnage at an elementary girls school in Minab.

The Washington Post got hold of a pre-war National Intelligence Council report concluding that “even a large-scale assault on Iran launched by the United States would be unlikely to oust the Islamic republic’s entrenched military and clerical establishment.” The Daily Mail is reporting that “the White House is blocking top US intelligence agencies from warning law enforcement across the country about rising threats to the homeland tied to [the] war with Iran.” Meanwhile, Trump is describing regime change in Cuba as “just a question of time.”

Here is what The Fifth Column, the Fif’ columnists, and other Fifdom stalwarts have been saying about these tumultuous events since last we ‘hosed.

* First thing Monday we posted a nutrient-rich One-Hitter with the great Israeli journalist Nadav Eyal, who we previously gabbed with in November 2022 and June 2025. (Nadav on Wednesday wrote on “The Indicators That Will Decide This War.”) For you non-paying subscribers, here’s what you’re missing out on:

* Monday evening came my weekly stint on The Reason Roundtable podcast, the bulk of which focused on Iran and interventionism. Here’s an edited clip of me making a point that’s even more true now: This war is starting out unpopular, due in part to the administration’s unconcern for selling it in advance:

* Tuesday came our Members Only discussion; here’s a clip from that:

* Wednesday featured a couple of smart Iran conversations with past Fif’ faves. First up was Coleman Hughes (veteran of episodes #121, #144, #181, #188, #201, #379, #412, and #442) conversatin’ with Foundation for Defense of Democracies CEO Mark Dubowitz:

* Next was Nick Gillespie (Special Dispatch #72, #379, Members Only #251) chopping it up with Jonah Goldberg (#182):

* Thursday morning was our back-and-forth with Hooman Majd, author of the recent Minister Without Portfolio: Memoir of a Reluctant Exile. That evening, The Moynihan Report came out of mothballs for some talk with former VICE News Tonight correspondent Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani (Lost Episode #1):

* Still Thursday was Kmele’s weekly Tangle News podcast:

* Let’s wrap this section with some fresh Saturday game show material from American heroes Andrew Heaton and Austin Bragg:

* Comment of the Week comes from v23325:

Here’s the thing- I know the guys’ positions well enough to know they don’t buy into the bullshit, so I’m not worried they are trying to smuggle in any of this guy’s views to their audience. It’s helpful to hear a sane version of what I consider an insane position regarding Iran. And I’d rather hear it here than anywhere else.

* Next time you hear Moynihan talk trash about Park Slope, look at the picture above, then remind yourself that 1) even Park Slope has awesome old-skool joints called Smiling Pizzeria, 2) even in awesome Park Slope pizza joints you can find paying Fifth Column subscribers, and 3) said paying subscriber had the absolute best approach to meeting a co-host in the wild, which was to immediately talk trash about Moynihan’s Jamaican accent. Love it!

* Time for Producer Jason’s Video Vault!

When I finally sat down to watch The Substance, my first thought was, “Wow, this is the female version of Seconds.” Yes, that is unfair to The Substance, which does cut its own path, but at the root of both films is a discomfort with living in one’s own skin, and a willingness to go to shocking extremes to rectify that. Coming off of The Manchurian Candidate and Seven Days in May, John Frankenheimer here turns away from government conspiracy and toward consumer-driven Faustian bargains. Seconds announces its tone from the opening credits with a bombastic, gothic pipe organ score by Jerry Goldsmith, essentially warning you that this story is not going to end well for the man in the gray flannel suit. Rock Hudson gives the performance of a lifetime — wounded, longing, and with only himself to blame for his fall. It’s an epic tragedy with a sinister twist. Original U.S. trailer:

Our Sendoffee is a guy you couldn’t pick out of a police lineup, whose name you won’t recognize, and whose songs you’ve never heard, yet he’s one of those music-biz glue pieces that keep entire swaths of the enterprise together, in this case the British blues explosion of the late ‘60s and early ‘70s. Our contestant co-founded the Blue Horizon record label, produced John Mayall’s Blues Breakers with Eric Clapton, David Bowie’s first record, and Fleetwood Mac’s chart-topping instrumental “Albatross”; then opened Chipping Norton Recording Studios, which brought the world everything from “Baker Street” to “Too Shy” to “Creep.” He could absolutely play, too – guitars, drums, bass, keys, whatever. Sang in a doo-wop band because why not. Here’s my favorite song off his 1971 debut album; ladies and gentlemen, bid a fond adieu to Mike Vernon: