Mailbucket #23: Draft Riots

Also: The white-trash gift that keeps on giving!

You know the drill: We get more email than we know what to do with, and when the quantity of quality fills up too high, we slosh ‘em out here in a Mailbucket, with some slight editing/hyperlinking, plus tasteful, non-A.I. retorting. This month’s batch includes some shorties in addition to the usual longer value-adds, because, well, we haven’t really been doing Mailbag episodes lately, and we no longer record the Second Sunday Zoom calls for paying subscribers.

From: Jane M.

Subject: Peer Pressure (of the Beneficial Sort)

Date: 08/14/26

Gentlemen,

My first email to you guys! Long time listener, member, and, as of last year an official NFC’er Cha-ching (sic?). I saw it can be spelled with a “K” but gonna stick with how I hear/spell it as someone with some authority on the matter as my first job was as a cashier at Woolworths in downtown Philly where there were big, old school, noisy cash registers. Whether I was working in the record department, or the pet department (occasionally and accidentally losing and chasing down canaries while wearing platform heels no less and without much success in retrievals either ha), that sound was ever present. Cha-ching indeed!

Another first is that I was at the recent Zoom and had the pleasure of speaking with you, and it was pretty damn special. Only sorry Kmele wasn’t there too. I’ve logged in before but never raised my hand. Now I truly feel like a regular and will surely be back!

So, in the afterglow of such a fun experience, while watching the August 12th episode, I became entranced with the bottle of tequila and the Fresca on the table (and the jokey asides), and though I’m generally not a tequila person it piqued my interest to the point — and here is where the beneficial peer pressure comes in —that I ended up purchasing the exact-exact tequila and Fresca and am enjoying it after work tonight (no longer as a cashier, ha, but as a pharmacist and poison specialist at [redacted place of work]).

So, with an ahhh and a Cheers, thanks for all the ideas and great conversations boys!!

xo

(You misspelled “Ding ding ding!”, though no flag on the play, since I can absolutely hear that Woolworths cash register cha-chinging. Two things about our encouragement of alcoholic degeneracy: 1) It’s one of our most cherished traditions, right up there with objective pro-natalism, and there may in fact be another limited-edition partnership with another flavor/purveyor of hooch coming soon. And 2) the white-trash Paloma in particular, long championed by our pal Gustavo Arellano, just sorta became the unofficial cope-drink during Covid, to the point where when me & Nancy Rommelmann were creating a beloved if short-lived media company, the name just had to be Paloma Media (which lives on at YouTube, and in the DNA of the podcasts Ask a Jew and Smoke ‘Em if You Got ‘Em). There are endless variations on the drink, but after years of experimentation with Squirt, Jarritos, San Pellegrino, and even those fancy fruit-juice concoctions they charge extra for at airports, the winning combo is what you see here: Fresca + your favorite tequila blanco, which in my case has been the Casamigos.)

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From: Will B.

Subject: RFK and the Yaktroversy

Date: 07/30/26

In another episode of “Can our politicians be any weirder?”, RFK for some reason posted a video of himself fending off a yak on a hike in Bhutan. What stood out to me in his post was the admission that he “lost his guide.” Unlike most of the subjects you guys cover, this is actually in my wheelhouse, as I worked for several years as an outdoors guide. I can tell you that losing your guide isn’t like losing your car keys — not easy to do, and is one of the worst things that can happen as a guide. Thankfully this never happened to me, but had happened to a few guides, and every time was the fault of the guest. The way I see it there are three possibilities:

1. He had an exceptionally bad and irresponsible guide (unlikely but possible).

2. He’s lying (more likely).

3. Every so often you get a guest who is so narcissistic and delusional that they show up to a place they’ve never been, assume they know the lay of the land better than the local people, and decide to go on their own little adventure without telling the guide. Sometimes they’re bored and impatient with the pace of the hike — especially if it’s a group hike — or sometimes it’s an alpha statement (i.e., I spend a lot of time outdoors so why do I have to listen to this “guide?”).

Based on what we know about the guy, I’ll let you guess what scenario I think is most likely. As far as him fending off the yak, maybe murdering it with his bare hands and depositing it in a park somewhere — that I would believe.

Thanks for your attention on this important matter.

(This kind of expert testimony is precisely what Mailbucket readers have come to rely on!)

***

From: Tim C.

Subject: Fact Check: Korean Armistice

Date: 07/27/26

(By sheer dumb luck, I write on the anniversary of the ceasefire. Was catching up on episodes after some midsummer travel; please pardon the delay.)

Youse guys,

I write in response to an offhand comment Moynihan made during #566. I am sufficiently saturated with peaty scotch such that I wonder if my laptop should qualify as heavy machinery....

At the time of the episode, the Iran “ceasefire” had collapsed yet again. Youse and I both use scare quotes because the ceasefire had all the hallmarks of a TV timeout. In comparison to the Iran breather, Moynihan cited the Korean Armistice as an example of a ceasefire that held.

On the long-term: Yes, probably. Looks that way.

On the short-term (read: 15 years): Er, not so much.

There was a time that the DMZ was not fortified with some 1-3m mines and barbed wire that could reach the moon and back. In 1954, political leaders representing every country with a dick that could swing met in (where else?) Geneva to resolve the Korean political crisis. When that fell through, something of a status quo ante bellum emerged. However, per SOP, the communists maintained a low-level harassment campaign into the south, regularly sabotaging foot patrols (several hundred casualties 1954-1964) and otherwise being the obstinate pricks we know and love.

Fast forward to Vietnam. The U.S. is experiencing internal political upheaval. Our commitment to Asia seems tenuous. North Korea reads the writing on the wall and sees an opportunity to leverage unrest elsewhere to dislodge the American security presence on the Korean peninsula.

During this time, we see the Easter Ambush, amphibious sabotage on SW Korean villages, the taking of PUEBLO, and the crown jewel: the Blue House Raid. For Kim Il-Sung, 1964-1968 was a period of renewed and reinvigorated hostilities because the DPRK assessed they could ride the coattails of America’s Vietnam disillusionment into a divested peninsula. It was only because of this period of increased activity and intensified pressure that we saw the emergence of mines, fencelines, and the like. Until then, the dream of Korean reunification prevented the emplacement of tangible deterrent measures we recognize today.

P.S.: Coincidence that it’s all timed to the Tet offensive? Food for thought.

(What was I saying above about expert testimony? Absolutely 0% of this is in my wheelhouse, so I appreciate the lesson and will take your word. In general and nearly always, the things we think are and were always permanent, turn out to be not so.)

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From: Howard P.

Subject: Pivot to Video

Date: 08/19/26

Hey Y’all

After taking an edible and walking the dogs I’d like to say I’ve been with y’all since the beginning, but I promise there’s nothing in God’s green earth that could compel me to watch a podcast.

(I reproduce this squib to make a point that should be but isn’t obvious: You don’t have to watch the video! The reason we turned the cameras on was that there is a big and important universe of podcast audience that just lives on YouTube, whether you want them to or not. Not having video was denying us access to those people. More consumers typically listen to our podcast than watch, some big viral YouTube hits notwithstanding. It’s been an adjustment for us to keep the non-viewers in mind as we record, and it’s up to y’all to tell us when we’re falling short on that end. And yes, we are now *using* the visuals to enhance that part of the experience. But you absolutely positively do not have to watch the video to enjoy this podcast! Also, DING DING DING!)

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From: William K.

Subject: [MW Going Solo]

Date: 08/16/26

Can I just subscribe to a Matt Welch daily newsletter and leave the other two out of it?

(William, you bring up an important point! And also, HAIL nah! First of all, if I wrote a daily newsletter, in addition to the 3.5 podcasts I record per week, there would be zero time for any of the longer-form writing I need to do in order to not fling myself from the 22nd floor. Second, I have a day job! Third, I know you’re not being overly serious, while also being very nice, and thank you for it. Were I to branch out, a la the re-booted Moynihan Report, y’all will be the first (or second) to know. But most likely any extra activity will either be some bonus stuff around here (a la The Revolutionaries), or maybe I finally put together a book collection of my longer pieces.)

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From: Jacob G.

Subject: My First Published Piece!!!

Date: 07/20/26

Gents,

Wanted to share that I had my first article ever published … and I have no idea how you are able to do this for a living. From the drafting, to the redrafting, to the back-and-forth revisions with the editors, to the anxiety of “Will it even be published” … it just about killed me. However, the sense of accomplishment seeing it posted is a cool sensation.

I wrote about the application of Agentic AI in SW development and how this should fundamentally shift the procurement strategies of the Department of War. I was able to discuss some of this briefly with Kmele after the DC show, but could not go into much detail then.

I know it is a lot to ask, but would love to get your thoughts on the piece. Should I keep my day job?... The answer of course is absolutely fucking yes!!!

“The Make-or-Buy Line has Moved”

P.S. a published piece is still only half as rewarding as hearing your letter read out on your favorite pod (53:07) and Michael telling you to go fuck yourself (in a loving way)!

(Congratu-fucking-lations! Welcome to the fraternity, now bend over! J/k. My first published article, which came out 40 years ago next month [or October], was … a review of a Santana concert at the Santa Barbara County Bowl. I didn’t really know jack about Santana — whoa, what was this “Devadip” period all about?! — but I boned up excessively at the campus library, took copious notes at the concert, and I’m sure wrote some embarrassing crap.

But! When they pulled me off the Arts desk to co-byline a news feature with my best friend, noodling about whether there was a New Generation of violent frat dicks menacing the country (we had both been in the thick of the OP Pro riots in Huntington Beach that summer), THAT was a process so arduous and so painful that A) I thought I would never write for a newspaper again, and B) after I barely survived it, have subsequently inflicted the way I was edited onto literally everyone I have ever worked with ever since. Which is to say, us two 18-year-old greenhorns from Long Beach suddenly found ourselves hunched over a VDT Online terminal not with the assigning assistant Campus Desk editor, or even someone as high as the Assistant News Editor, but rather the intimidating Editor in Chief of the whole damn possibly-best-in-the-country newspaper, who had jabbed his editing notes IN ALL CAPS after literally every sentence we had written. The notes, needless to say, were much longer than our article. It was like being punched in the nose, eyeballs, and dick, all at once. The piece eventually ran, right on the front page, and though it, too, is embarrassing, it set me on my way.

This is a long way of saying: Son, you do NOT want my editing notes. But I’m sure the class will chime in!)

***

From: Mike

Subject: Terry Moron

Date: 08/14/26

“Gentlemen,”

Been a paid subscriber for years now. Yours is the only political
punditry podcast I can stomach since the Orange Age came to be in 2016.

Terry Moran is, by far, the most insufferable guest you’ve had to date.
Vapid, self-aggrandizing, and lacking any ethical, moral, or ideological
consistency.

I was going to go into further detail, but I see no point. Just wanted
to share this opinion with you.

Seriously, holy shit, wow.

Keep doing that thing you do.

P.S.: You all (”the media”) need to stop using the phrase “out over [person’s] skis” as a metaphor for losing control of something or attempting a task beyond their capacity. When you’re skiing, you need to be over your skis. This is how you engage the majority of the skis’ edge, maintain stability at speed, and execute proper turns. It’s actually really difficult to fall by putting your weight over your skis, as the vast majority of a ski is in front of you. When someone gets behind their skis, that’s how the skis slip out from underneath them and they eat shit. I’m assuming — pure speculation — that some clueless New Yorker that had a disastrous experience at Hunter Mountain popularized this term with absolutely no skills on the slope, and other ski-clueless people parroted it because it sounded good to them. Using “out over your skis” in this way is like using the phrase “has both hands on the wheel” when making a driving metaphor for someone losing control. It makes no sense.

(Normally we don’t post emails trashing guests, even those that do it with a sense of appreciation for what we’re trying to do in those episodes. But the metaphor-policing in this P.S. is too delicious to pass up.

As an avid non-skier since age 15 or so, I guess my mental image for the phrase was someone getting too caddywhompus on a ski jump, tipping over from aerodynamic efficiency to full-on face-plant. But then, that doesn’t really jibe with the implied hubris-fueled mistake. Then after your email, I defensively imagined that maybe the aphorism makes sense in *water* skiing…. But no.

Best I can reckon after a thorough 10-minute search is that your “some clueless New Yorker that had a disastrous experience at Hunter Mountain” theory may well be the winner. Per this 2012 New York magazine piece, “[T]he phrase’s metaphorical use seems to have begun in the finance world. Its first non-skiing print usages came in the early nineties, in publications like Investment Dealers’ Digest. For instance, a 1991 article quoted a ‘market source’ describing a race between Goldman Sachs’ and Lehman Bros.’ preferred stock desk. ‘Someone said [Lehman] couldn’t get a clean legal opinion on it. They may have been out over their skis a little bit with their structure.’ It makes sense that investment bankers would let their weekend hobbies inform their workday slang. It’s still a favorite in the finance world — far more than in political spheres.”)

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From: Don V.

Subject: [Terry Moran and National Service]

Date: 08/14/26

The Terry Moran interview was interesting and a lot of fun. However, I’m surprised that none of you, including Terry, recognized that the answer to his concerns about “solidarity” etc. is quite simple: a draft (or “national service program,” to be polite). Putting everyone who turns 18 into cohorts of randomly selected peers from every part of the country, income distribution, etc., is without doubt the best way to build solidarity, because it forces people to work together regardless of their differences, and exposes people to others as individuals.

The argument against the draft was largely carried by, of all people, Milton Friedman, and was made on the basis that an army of conscripts is far less effective as a fighting force than a professional, all-volunteer army. The fact that Vietnam was going on might have had something to do with it as well.... Anyway, Milton was not wrong about that. However, there are other ways to achieve that — we have always had professional, all-volunteer fighting forces (the Marines, Air Force, Navy, etc.), and a national service program would not need to be limited to military service — that could be one component, alongside other options such as wildland fire fighting, medical service, etc.

I think it will take someone on the left to make this happen, as there is no way anyone on the right is going to propose this.

Love the show — thanks for the great work!

P.S.: Paid subscriber (send me a response, and I will upgrade to NFC!)

(I will first say DING DING DING, because Don already upgraded….

So, as longtime listeners named Ben Price know all too well, this is a subject that provokes in me an almost irrational hostility. I refused at age 18 to register for the “Selective Service,” despite then-plausible, serially mailed threats of jail time. I refused to sign the [still!] required State Oath of Allegiance when I worked for the University of California system from 1988-1990. I tried like hell to get out of taking a goddamned urine test as condition for employment at the L.A. Times, and at least got a whiny column out of it. I am an American, and Americans do not like being told what to do.

My calm argument against national service is threefold. In rough order: 1) We own ourselves. Having a *government*, run by scumbag politicians and backed by lethal weaponry, dictate how your life shall and shall not be lived when you are a grown-ass adult is abhorrent. 2) Nothing compelled is authentic. Not speech, not loyalty, not “solidarity.” I happily sing the National Anthem; I never happily stood up for the Pledge of Allegiance at school. 3) The rich and well-connected will always find a way out. Solidarity in the streets, bone spurs (or gap years) in the sheets. Back when French military service was still mandatory, you could “fulfill” it by getting a job abroad with a French multinational. Gee, I wonder what kind of kids were able to obtain those, particularly in low-cost, high-glamour cities like Budapest?

Here are some related things I’ve written, in chronological order:

“Does Declining Volunteerism Mean We Need National Service? Only If You Don’t Count Money”

“‘Selective’ Service Refuseniks Are Still Punished, Just Not Prosecuted”

“Mayor Pete’s ‘National Service’ Plan Was a Nationalist Fantasy”

“Washington Wants To Be Able To Draft Your Daughters Into Military Service, in the Name of ‘Equity’”

“Women Are on the Verge of Being Forced Into Military Conscription Due to a Perverse Notion of ‘Equality’”

“House Votes To Make Your Daughters Eligible for the Military Draft”

“BTS’s Military Conscription Is a Reminder That Mandatory ‘Service’ Is Servitude”

OK, that’s it for this month! Keep on writin’, everybody!)